Busier Than a One-Armed Wallpaper Hanger

Do you have any funny idioms like this that were passed along in your family or by friends and in-laws?

I don't remember where I heard this one but it sure did stick. It's a great visual for how busy I feel lately. (NOTE: I like busy.)

My motto: Better busy than bored.

So what am I so doing? Answer: the usual motherhood stuff, housework, cooking, Facebooking, homeschooling, babysitting, helping friends, fundraising and planning for Glory Bound Academy, trying out curriculum from five different companies, preparing reviews, my usual writing endeavors and a few added ones. Of course, I squeeze in some time for exercise: swimming at the Y and walking. Oh, a little shopping added in there. UGH- it is my least favorite thing to do but it must be done. Of course, there are other activities here that hide between the lines. It can all be defined as the same word. Busy.

Soon, I will have visitors, one after the other. My middle son's older sister and then my oldest son are coming before the summer ends. The youngest child's sister wants to come too. Oh, boy!

Me? I'm wishing to drive across the states to visit family and friends. While, I'm there, I would go to the beach and soak up the salt air and water and fresh, COOL, New England breezes. I'd stop in NY, eat some Jewish cuisine, NY Bagels, shop at Wegmans and drive through the mountains to see foliage. Then, when I get back, I would become a perpetual student and learn all the things in which I always wanted to obtain a degree: Art, Journalism, Photography, English, Special Education, Counseling, Videography/Cinematology, Cosmetology, Sound Technology, Carpentry, Music-(piano, guitar, songwriting, more voice) and more Acting Classes. Well, I can dream, can't I? LOL. Like I'm not busy enough.

Why is it that life never has enough time or money to allow those with big dreams to do it all? (I know, not all dreams are meant to reach reality. Some are not in the plans for our lives.)

When we get to heaven, we can do it all, but will we still want to?

What will we be busy doing up there?

Does the busyness that we find ourselves enveloped in here on earth have any significance on what happens up there?

I am reminded now of a hymn we used to sing when I was a child. "Only one life, so soon 'twill be passed. Only what's done for Christ will last."

I hope and pray that all my busyness is not just that. It's my desire to leave a hand print on the world with eternal purposes and gifts such as love, faith, courage, hope, freedom and JOY!

My name is BeckyJoie. Joie is the French spelling for Joy. One thing I feel called to do on earth is to bring joy to people-to show them that God can bring them JOY through ANY circumstance. There is joy in doing, joy in feeling, joy in living, joy in serving, joy in waiting, joy in passion, joy in resting, joy in play, joy everyday, joy in the valley and joy on the mountain. JOY, JOY, JOY! You can have it, too.

When you picture the idiom of a one-armed person hanging wallpaper, it seems hectic. You picture a grouch, barking at everyone to come help or a person running frantically to each next stage of the process, trying to get it all done, trying to make it all right but never feeling like it's possible with only one arm available to help. Sometimes I feel like that BUT NOT FOR LONG.

I have the JOY, JOY, JOY, JOY down in my heart. This is what fuels me. I know that in whatever I do, in whatever stages of life I find myself, stressed, rest or blessed, that God will be with me and help me to spread His love and joy which cannot be explained by any means other than Sovereign Injection. (God's sovereign way of inserting Himself through and in our circumstances, bringing us joy--come what may.)

So, in these busy seasons of life, I thank God for His joy. May we never feel like one-armed wallpaper hangers, but instead like the movie projector, sitting there, shining on a canvas/screen to show the world all that God is doing in and through us.

What's on Your MP3 Player?

Once upon a time, there was a woman who never went anywhere without wearing her MP3 player. She went to the mall, the grocery store, Walmart, the doctors and finally, the hair dresser. Her hair was growing long and shaggy and she really needed a trim but day after day, in she came with the headphones on, pacing like a jogger. She signed in, sat down and waited for the beautician to motion to her that it was her turn. The hairdresser asked her what kind of cut she wanted but the woman could not hear her, so she got up and ran out. This continued for weeks and until one day, the hairdresser decided that she had about all she could take.

She led the woman to the cutting station, sat her in the chair, cut most of her hair and then took the headphones off and reached for the MP3 player so she could finish the haircut. The lady argued and pulled on it struggling to gain control of it but the beautician with her skillful hands, stuffed the item in her apron and completed cutting the woman's hair in about three more minutes.

The woman got up, paid her cash and ran outside. She began to turn around and ask for her MP3 player but no sooner had she passed the threshold when she fell, dead in a heap on the sidewalk. The shop owner immediately dialed 911 but it was too late. The woman could not be revived.

"Who was the last person to speak to her?" Interrogated the police.

Everyone pointed to her hair dresser.

The hairdresser began to tell the story and suddenly realized she had the woman's MP3 player in her apron pocket. She pulled it out and handed it to the police who collected it as evidence.

The officer noticed that sound was coming from the headphones. He slipped them on his own head to listen for any possible clues.

He heard, "Breath in. Breathe Out. Breathe In. Breathe out...." He had discovered the cause of death.

While this public domain joke has been circulating for a long time, it has some relevance to the next story I am about to relate to you.

Jan Charles was a first time runner in a cross country race. She was competing against the pros but didn't mind because she was running for a cause. Unlike the others, she had signed up sponsors who would donate a sum of money to help pay for a cancer treatment for her friend's daughter. She needed inspiration, so she asked her friends to each make a thirty second recording on their computers to encourage her along the way. She downloaded them into a play list on her MP3 player and prepared herself for the race.

For most of the journey, she trailed behind but didn't seem to notice. She ran with vigor and stamina, building her endurance at a steady pace. As she listened to the recorded words, streaming into her headphones, she began to build speed until suddenly she broke into a steady but speedy run. The runners ahead, had long since abandoned their attention to her as they had surpassed her by several hundred feet. Jan simply listened to the recording:

"You can do it. Keep it going. Don't stop now. Faster! Faster! You're almost there. Come on, there you go, there you go..."

All of a sudden, it was as if a wind, a strong gust, pushed her forward until she was on the heels of the last runners. Surprised by this, the runners slowed and stared with gaping mouths, giving her a lead on them. Like Moses parting the Red Sea, she ran through the midst of them all and finally sprinted across the finish line-in first place.

While this story is somewhat corny and make believe, I hope it makes you think. Whether or not you are wearing an I-pod or an MP3 player, you are listening to thoughts, directions, and vital life-threatening or strengthening ideas. You have a choice to listen, ignore or change the play list.

What's on your MP3 player and what effect is it having on you?

HomeSchool and Schedules

Years ago, when my oldest homeschooled, there was a mis-conception that homeschoolers slept all day and did half the amount of work of a private or public schooler. I can't tell you how many people used to call me in the middle of the day to talk, or suggest that I change my plans to accommodate theirs because I was a homeschooler. "Well, you homeschool, you're available."

While some home educators are more "relaxed" in their scheduling, the majority are up to their ears in activities and other commitments. Moms who teach their children have less time than the Stay-At-Home-Moms who kept house when we were children. They are working from home, volunteering in the community, taking turns with their spouses working outside the home and taxi-ing children to homeschool groups and community sports on top of that!

Misconceptions may exist on either end of the spectrum. Ideas about needing to hold classes from 8am-5pm run both among home educators and the public. "The world runs on a 9 to 5 schedule. Children need to arise early and work all day in order be prepared for adulthood in the real world."

While this idea holds some weight, we must remember that the world runs on three shifts and if all were morning people, no one would run the hospitals or provide safety at night as security personnel or police. Restaurants and businesses would be filthy and the stores would not be stocked when we arrive at 8am to shop.

While some type of a schedule is necessary, homeschoolers need not feel condemned if their schedule does not match the ideals of others. As long as there is some type of consistent structure, their children will be able to survive in this world as long as they have a good work ethic. Remember, one of the reasons homeschooling works so well is it's flexibility to meet the individual and family needs, making it possible for everyone to be successful.

Structure is important in life but flexibility is crucial. The world is full of unhappy people who do not know how to be flexible. One minor change throws them into a "tizzy" and stumps them. Teaching your children to be consistent and to persevere through interruptions is a more balanced approach.

Find the schedule that works for you, but be able to work around it, if changes occur. Your children will learn how to be successful and develop a winning attitude by watching your example.

New Year, New Discoveries

The New Year brings us new things to learn about new people. Wheels Kid's older sister is visiting with us. She is such a sweetie so I will nickname her "Sweetie." I've never seen our son so happy! He loves his sister! Not only that, but I'm learning new things about their childhood from before foster care. It does make things interesting for us. In his birth home, he was the baby of the family. In our home, he is the functional oldest child.

I've followed Dr. Kevin Leman's philosophy for many years regarding the birth order theory as well as his parenting with reality discipline. Last year, we attended one of his conferences at the First Baptist Church of Leesburg. We bought another of his books about early childhood memories. Since fostering the last set of siblings, I have not found the time to read the book. It's been sitting on my shelf for about 7 months upstaged by the RAD parenting books and "Skills Training for Children with Behavior Disorders." It's odd since we were so excited to buy a new book from Dr. Leman. While we stood at the kiosk where he autographed it, I asked him to explain what birth order Wheels Kid was in as an adopted child. He said, "His birth order doesn't change." I chewed on that thought for a while but then it didn't matter as he was then an only child in our home at the time. (My oldest, Bass Boy, had moved out.) Wheels Kid had been with us for about 7 months. Even as the youngest in his birth home, it didn't affect him much to become an only child in our home. Either way, he gets spoiled. Also, he didn't talk much about his birth family. Most of the memories he had were negative. He didn't feel the need to think much about it, because he is so loved and spoiled with us. (Ha, ha, typical last born.)

A couple of months after we bought the book, Dr. Leman spoke on a radio interview regarding the birth order theory. Someone asked him what he thought about people adopting older children. His response was something like this, "I don't think it is a good idea. It messes up the birth order. Also, the kids bring alot of rage into the home and the couple better be prepared for an upheaval of everything they know." He was right about an upheaval! We did discover it later on. Of course, we had no natural born children living in our home to make birth order all that much of an issue at first. At the time, the two other kids had just been placed in our care as well. It was only the beginning--but looking back, I can see how the birth order was affected. We had two "lastborns" constantly bickering and vying for the attention and a middle born who continued in the middle born place but tried to move up to being the functional oldest in position. Although he was a middle born in his birth family, he was the only boy and in ways was treated differently than if he had been a girl. More like a first born. But then, think about the fact each of these kids were like only children while in foster care. Whew! Then you add the RAD issues. What were we thinking? We had good intentions anyway. It's much different now with only the two boys here. Much more peaceful.

Fortunately, the two children who are still in our home seem to get along well enough without the other lastborn, though we all miss her in spite of her rages and violence. Now that I am not breaking up constant, spur-of-the-moment fights or corralling a combatant into her room, I will have time to read more of Dr. Leman's books and hash over what I am learning about my foster/adoptive children as well as my own family of origin. I'll try to share what I am learning.

Leaders in Learning was started as a place to share philosophies of parenting, education (public, private and home), fostering/adoption, life lessons, writing, publishing and more. I want it to continue to be such a place where we can all learn and teach. I would love to invite readers to send their own articles and stories about lessons they are learning.

One of the great things about being in the online community is how much one can learn from others. Though I enjoy teaching or sharing what I learn, there is nothing more exciting to me in blogworld than finding a new blog to read about one of my favorite topics.

I would like to thank my readers who leave comments, providing me a link to their blogs. Of course, I love having readers, even those who remain anonymous, but it is really great to know others who love to write as much as I do.

That being said, I raise my proverbial glass with this comment, "May the new year be filled with times of sharing, blessing and learning together. May we have more opportunities to meet others who are also learning on this journey we call life."

Sunday Sick Day

I don't usually take days off from church but today I was so exhausted, have a sore throat, stuffy nose and headache and in light of all the recent stress, I needed a break.

The two kids who either cause the most trouble (either on the way or at church) stayed home with me and the other one went with Dad who was playing bass guitar in the praise band. He probably enjoyed being the big cheese and riding all alone with Dad in the car anyway. He's also our early bird and I knew he'd never let the others sleep in which meant with him home, I could not sleep in. I don't remember the last day I slept in. It's been months. It was great to do so today!

This morning we had boiled eggs mashed with melted butter, toast and strawberry applesauce just for fun and we watched DVD's of one of my favorite claymation tv shows as a kid, DAVY and GOLIATH. For more info see: http://www.daveyandgoliath.org/

The story lines, though written in the 1950'sand 1960's, teach great little morals that children even from this day and age find relatable. I think I'm going to find some more and buy them for children's church for the times they need a short movie to fill in time after the teaching and activities.

Needless to say, it was nice to have some down time. That is most of it was, since I only had one blow out from one kid this morning and she went to her room three minutes ago for a cool down. Is that banging I hear. No, just knocking. She's drumming on the wall. Oh boy. I'll be right back.

Okay. I'm back.

Tonight, we are suppose to go to visit my friend Lyssie. I will check with her to see if she still wants me there. I think what I have going on is allergy and stress related rather than a cold. It might do me some good to spend time with a friend. But we will have to bring distractions for the kids or Velcro, just kidding. Anyway, Here come the boys from church. I need to go. Have a great Sunday everyone.

GREATNESS

Why do people tremble at the sight of a confident person? Why do they think confidence an egotistical concept? Is it because they are uncomfortable with seeing success and feel left behind? Or do they embrace a false definition of "humble"? Is is possible to possess both the qualities of greatness and humility?

The question, in my opinion, is answered in the application of the word. Only can a person who submits to the authority of God and His gifts-only they can accomplish the truly great tasks.

Let's look at the example of David as a Shepherd boy when he rose up in the name of God to slay the giant Goliath causing the Philistines run like they just saw a ghost. David was only a boy but his confidence was greater than the whole Israeli army including his brothers who branded him an egotist!

How about Samson? With his strength, he slew lions bare-handed, defeated armies single-handed and tore down buildings with a mere yank.

Consider Moses, with a speech impediment, rising up against the Pharaoh and his dynasty (who rescued and raised him) to lead the Israelite nation out of Egypt where they had been enslaved for generations.

But wait, you may object. these people all have major issues! David was a violent, adulterating savage and Samson had a weakness for women. Moses, murdered and ran away into the desert for 40 years.

There are many examples in the Bible and elsewhere of people who accomplished great things for God in spite of obvious weaknesses. What was the common thread which enabled them to do these great things? I suggest that confidence, not self-deprecation, was the key that unlocked the door to greatness.

Is it sinful to be confident? Some would say so but not me. Over-confidence that comes from puffing oneself up with shallow mantras will prove false. True and lasting confidence comes from knowing God's power and it's effect in the lives of those open to be empowered by it.

Great monuments can materialize if the tool is in the hand of the qualified artisan. Does this make the tool great? Not necessarily but you have to admit, a screw gun works faster and easier than a plain screw driver. My point? If we belittle the capabilities that our Creator placed within us, we are like the screwdriver. We are still usable, but are not the preferred tool. God is honored by that fact that He fearfully and wonderfully made us. Our gifts and talents when used give glory to the One who made them. The glimmer of flashing metal may spin and make us admire the drill but in the end, the drill is nothing without the Craftsman. As well, a drill that is not charged is worthless in the task.

How can one become a tool for greatness? Each must first recognize what kind of tool and for what purpose we are best suited. It's not wrong to examine oneself and discover the gifts and talents we have. It is actually humbling at times to think that God would trust a mere human with skills beyond our perceived capability. Once we inventory the resources inside, then we must commit those to God to use as He sees fit. In the meantime, we must sharpen, charge, and enhance the talent to the fullest potential, opening our eyes to the opportunities and evaluating like an investor the market into which to insert those gifts. Using the tools before they are ready could prove disappointing or even fatal. On the other hand, letting them collect dust will prove detrimental to the eternal cause.

I've heard it said, "Fail to plan. Plan to fail." There is truth to that. The following also rings true: "Failing does not make one a failure. Failing to rise and try again does." And old Proverb words it this way: The faithful man falls seven times and rises up again. Note there is no mention of a failure only a faithful man.

Don't be afraid of greatness. Greatness does not equal perfection. Greatness is allowing God to work through you in ways you don't think possible at first. Greatness glorifies God.

To inspire you to do great things, I leave you with these thought-provoking quotes about how to achieve greatness:

• John L. Motley: Deeds, not stones, are the true monuments of the great.

• Henry Ward Beecher: Greatness lies not in being strong, but in the right use of strength.

• William Blake: Great things are done when men and mountains meet.

• Samuel Johnson: Great works are performed, not by strength, but by perseverance.

• Vincent Van Gogh: Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together.

• Fernando Flores: Great work is done by people who are not afraid to be great.

Lifelines

My siblings are my lifelines. Whenever life gets crazy, I can count on them to be there for me. Friends come and go, but siblings are forever.

We have not always been close. Life's piles and trials used to allow the miles between us to separate us. (Sorry, too much Dr. Seuss I guess.) Somehow, we survived but there was a feeling of incompleteness.

In these past few years, each has grown a great deal. The brevity of life teaches us the greatness of our need for each other.

Though our perspectives extend from a variety of angles, our hearts are unified. It's not every day that I answer the phone to find the voice of my sisters or brother. But every time I hear their voices, it seems like it was just yesterday that I sat with them and laughed around Mom and Dad's kitchen table. Many things have changed over time but somehow it feels quite the same; the legacy of love and faith is passed down to our children-- just as it was created for us in our youth.

From the viewpoint of someone else, we may have appeared dysfunctional. That didn't dampen our spirits a bit. We came through, not without scars, but with strong bonds that cannot ever be broken.

In our youth, we used to scrap, leaving clumps of flying hair and screaming like a bunch of neighborhood cats. I still hear my mom's voice when I reprimand my own children, "Would you just QUIT YER BICKERING?"

Those were the days when my sister and I squeezed each other by the throat until our faces began to turn blue and Mom stuck her head into the room, "What, for Pete's sake, is going on in here?"

"Nothing, we're just wrestling," was the breathy chorus from the two fighting and the referee.

"For the love of Mike!" She would sigh and leave us back to our battle.

Then there was the time, when we took turns, in my brother's bedroom standing on his back like a cheer leading pyramid in order to see through the hole in the wall into the living room where our parents wrapped our Christmas presents. One of us fell thudding to the floor.

"You okay in there?" Mom's worried voice hollered.

"Ya, uh, I'm lifting weights." My brother gulped and we all "bust a gut" laughing into his mattress.

I had another hobby in those days. I imagined myself a photographer. I made my sisters, Heady included (a neighbor who we considered our extra sister) dress up in crazy outfits and stand in front of trees, flowers and Mill pond so I could have more "photo shoots" under my belt. I took my 120 film camera along with me everywhere I went, shooting scenes of my youngest sister, "Froo", (following in my tomboy footsteps) and working on her bike in the yard. I filmed my other sister, "R". the stand-up comic, making goofy faces and joking poses. One time, she got stuck with her feet behind her head and I shook so hard with laughter I couldn't get the picture.

My photography hobby was soon high jacked by a love of writing, music and art but I kept them in mind as I belted out homemade "opera" from my own music hall on the other side of the bedroom curtain (partly to bug the daylights out of them).

Even now, we still have wild and crazy times. You really can't understand unless you were up in the middle of the night with us this last August building a puppet stage out of our Mom's curtains. R, the sensible one now, came down to use the restroom and said, "Are you guys drunk or something?" We weren't. We were just us.

If you want a picture of what it was like living in our home, just watch or read L. M. Alcott's "Little Women". Then amplify the affect and cross it with the Brady Bunch. That should do it.

Of course, every family has its great moments just as we all have our worst. We've fought over clothes, politics, religion and many other things but it all came out in the wash and now we are stronger and better. To make the package even bigger and wilder, we added brothers and sisters in the mix through marriage. Although they may not be as wacky and wild, they add to the warmth like hot cocoa on a windy Maine Autumn evening.

I'm thankful for the birth family I have. I couldn't run Leaders in Learning or my daily life without them. Whatever family memories you may have. Don't focus on the negative.

Life is short. Forget the differences. Relish the love.

Confessions of a Post-It Note Geek

Yes, folks, you read it here. I'm a Post-It Note Freak. In fact, I'm lost without them. I've got them stuck on the computer screen, the fridge, my choir practice books, the front door and who knows where else.

No, they aren't a new invention but they are a lifesaver. They save me from missing appointments, forgetting to pick up the most important ingredient in a recipe and a million other potentially embarrassing moments.

It occurred to me today that both blogging and short stories are kind of like Post-It Notes. They need just enough information to inform but not enough to overload or cause boredom.

I wonder what other household items will teach me a lesson today?