Busier Than a One-Armed Wallpaper Hanger

Do you have any funny idioms like this that were passed along in your family or by friends and in-laws?

I don't remember where I heard this one but it sure did stick. It's a great visual for how busy I feel lately. (NOTE: I like busy.)

My motto: Better busy than bored.

So what am I so doing? Answer: the usual motherhood stuff, housework, cooking, Facebooking, homeschooling, babysitting, helping friends, fundraising and planning for Glory Bound Academy, trying out curriculum from five different companies, preparing reviews, my usual writing endeavors and a few added ones. Of course, I squeeze in some time for exercise: swimming at the Y and walking. Oh, a little shopping added in there. UGH- it is my least favorite thing to do but it must be done. Of course, there are other activities here that hide between the lines. It can all be defined as the same word. Busy.

Soon, I will have visitors, one after the other. My middle son's older sister and then my oldest son are coming before the summer ends. The youngest child's sister wants to come too. Oh, boy!

Me? I'm wishing to drive across the states to visit family and friends. While, I'm there, I would go to the beach and soak up the salt air and water and fresh, COOL, New England breezes. I'd stop in NY, eat some Jewish cuisine, NY Bagels, shop at Wegmans and drive through the mountains to see foliage. Then, when I get back, I would become a perpetual student and learn all the things in which I always wanted to obtain a degree: Art, Journalism, Photography, English, Special Education, Counseling, Videography/Cinematology, Cosmetology, Sound Technology, Carpentry, Music-(piano, guitar, songwriting, more voice) and more Acting Classes. Well, I can dream, can't I? LOL. Like I'm not busy enough.

Why is it that life never has enough time or money to allow those with big dreams to do it all? (I know, not all dreams are meant to reach reality. Some are not in the plans for our lives.)

When we get to heaven, we can do it all, but will we still want to?

What will we be busy doing up there?

Does the busyness that we find ourselves enveloped in here on earth have any significance on what happens up there?

I am reminded now of a hymn we used to sing when I was a child. "Only one life, so soon 'twill be passed. Only what's done for Christ will last."

I hope and pray that all my busyness is not just that. It's my desire to leave a hand print on the world with eternal purposes and gifts such as love, faith, courage, hope, freedom and JOY!

My name is BeckyJoie. Joie is the French spelling for Joy. One thing I feel called to do on earth is to bring joy to people-to show them that God can bring them JOY through ANY circumstance. There is joy in doing, joy in feeling, joy in living, joy in serving, joy in waiting, joy in passion, joy in resting, joy in play, joy everyday, joy in the valley and joy on the mountain. JOY, JOY, JOY! You can have it, too.

When you picture the idiom of a one-armed person hanging wallpaper, it seems hectic. You picture a grouch, barking at everyone to come help or a person running frantically to each next stage of the process, trying to get it all done, trying to make it all right but never feeling like it's possible with only one arm available to help. Sometimes I feel like that BUT NOT FOR LONG.

I have the JOY, JOY, JOY, JOY down in my heart. This is what fuels me. I know that in whatever I do, in whatever stages of life I find myself, stressed, rest or blessed, that God will be with me and help me to spread His love and joy which cannot be explained by any means other than Sovereign Injection. (God's sovereign way of inserting Himself through and in our circumstances, bringing us joy--come what may.)

So, in these busy seasons of life, I thank God for His joy. May we never feel like one-armed wallpaper hangers, but instead like the movie projector, sitting there, shining on a canvas/screen to show the world all that God is doing in and through us.

Tickets to the Circus

Today we are headed to Orlando's Amway Arena to attend the circus. I haven't been in years. The last time was when Doug and I with my oldest son (Bass Boy) visited a hospital in New York City for an evaluation of my son's neuromuscular disorder . We stayed in the Ronald McDonald House in Manhattan and accepted free tickets to see Barnum and Bailey's circus.

A memorable moment was when performers in grass skirts jumped through hoops of fire onto a trampoline and a man's skirt caught fire. There was not a sound from him and since they managed to put it out rapidly so we thought it was all part of the act until reading the papers the next day. The man survived with minor burns but I bet the thought twice about grass skirts and fire at future demonstrations.

Lord-willing, this trip won't have any traumatic events taking place on this trip but hopefully, it will be a great memory for our new, growing family. I'd better start making a list of things to take with us.

Let's see, we will need:

• a camera
• binoculars
• camcorder
• snacks and drinks if they let us.
• charged cell phone so we can find each other if separated
• other miscellaneous things.

I'm pretty excited. I doubt our boys have ever seen something like this. I know group homes take trips and do fun things but I doubt they'd take 40 or more kids to the circus. I can't wait to watch the wonder on the boys' faces when they see the circus live for the first time.

Now, that being said, we may have some mild RAD issues while there but I'm prepared. There will be plenty of distractions so attempts to sabotage our fun won't last. I'll use everything to my advantage.

Stay tuned for details and pictures. We are actually going to a real circus. It's not just one created by events in our neighborhood and home! What a miracle. LOL.

Have a great day. Check in tomorrow for details.

New Year, New Discoveries

The New Year brings us new things to learn about new people. Wheels Kid's older sister is visiting with us. She is such a sweetie so I will nickname her "Sweetie." I've never seen our son so happy! He loves his sister! Not only that, but I'm learning new things about their childhood from before foster care. It does make things interesting for us. In his birth home, he was the baby of the family. In our home, he is the functional oldest child.

I've followed Dr. Kevin Leman's philosophy for many years regarding the birth order theory as well as his parenting with reality discipline. Last year, we attended one of his conferences at the First Baptist Church of Leesburg. We bought another of his books about early childhood memories. Since fostering the last set of siblings, I have not found the time to read the book. It's been sitting on my shelf for about 7 months upstaged by the RAD parenting books and "Skills Training for Children with Behavior Disorders." It's odd since we were so excited to buy a new book from Dr. Leman. While we stood at the kiosk where he autographed it, I asked him to explain what birth order Wheels Kid was in as an adopted child. He said, "His birth order doesn't change." I chewed on that thought for a while but then it didn't matter as he was then an only child in our home at the time. (My oldest, Bass Boy, had moved out.) Wheels Kid had been with us for about 7 months. Even as the youngest in his birth home, it didn't affect him much to become an only child in our home. Either way, he gets spoiled. Also, he didn't talk much about his birth family. Most of the memories he had were negative. He didn't feel the need to think much about it, because he is so loved and spoiled with us. (Ha, ha, typical last born.)

A couple of months after we bought the book, Dr. Leman spoke on a radio interview regarding the birth order theory. Someone asked him what he thought about people adopting older children. His response was something like this, "I don't think it is a good idea. It messes up the birth order. Also, the kids bring alot of rage into the home and the couple better be prepared for an upheaval of everything they know." He was right about an upheaval! We did discover it later on. Of course, we had no natural born children living in our home to make birth order all that much of an issue at first. At the time, the two other kids had just been placed in our care as well. It was only the beginning--but looking back, I can see how the birth order was affected. We had two "lastborns" constantly bickering and vying for the attention and a middle born who continued in the middle born place but tried to move up to being the functional oldest in position. Although he was a middle born in his birth family, he was the only boy and in ways was treated differently than if he had been a girl. More like a first born. But then, think about the fact each of these kids were like only children while in foster care. Whew! Then you add the RAD issues. What were we thinking? We had good intentions anyway. It's much different now with only the two boys here. Much more peaceful.

Fortunately, the two children who are still in our home seem to get along well enough without the other lastborn, though we all miss her in spite of her rages and violence. Now that I am not breaking up constant, spur-of-the-moment fights or corralling a combatant into her room, I will have time to read more of Dr. Leman's books and hash over what I am learning about my foster/adoptive children as well as my own family of origin. I'll try to share what I am learning.

Leaders in Learning was started as a place to share philosophies of parenting, education (public, private and home), fostering/adoption, life lessons, writing, publishing and more. I want it to continue to be such a place where we can all learn and teach. I would love to invite readers to send their own articles and stories about lessons they are learning.

One of the great things about being in the online community is how much one can learn from others. Though I enjoy teaching or sharing what I learn, there is nothing more exciting to me in blogworld than finding a new blog to read about one of my favorite topics.

I would like to thank my readers who leave comments, providing me a link to their blogs. Of course, I love having readers, even those who remain anonymous, but it is really great to know others who love to write as much as I do.

That being said, I raise my proverbial glass with this comment, "May the new year be filled with times of sharing, blessing and learning together. May we have more opportunities to meet others who are also learning on this journey we call life."

Happy Wishes!

I wanted to post a recent picture of me wishing happy things to my readers, but alas! I am always the one behind the camera so all I could find was an old picture one of the kids took of me last April. My hair is much longer now but the words come from the same heart!


Happy Birthday, to my older brother! He is a slightly different reflection of my dad. If I believed in re-incarnation I would have been stumped while the two were standing side by side. Different looks, but some similar features. Similar personalities but different education levels. Strong, caring hearts, yup! Fits both. Well, I could go on, but I'll skip for now. Anyway, Happy Birthday P.A. Ray! This year, you drew closer to your family, made many brave ventures, battled tough family issues and came out older and wiser! I'm proud of you! Happy Happy Birthday, old man! (Chuckle, Chuckle.)


To the rest of you, I wish you a very Happy New Year. I will begin mine by visits from northern friends and family. Wheels Kid has an older sister coming for a week. My oldest son, Bass Boy ( as in bass guitar not the fish), will be flying in on the same flight for a week in January! January eleventh, we will take Culinary Kid to see his birth siblings a few hours away. Now, if I could just find a way to New England again, that would be awesome. But, wait, I think I'll delay until the snow disappears for good. Ha, ha. What a great way to start the new year!

May this new year bring you joy, fresh starts, success, healing, great ideas, strength in the midst of any trials and so much more than you can dream.

I have much healing to do. It's been a painful year with the loss of my dad, grandfather, foster daughter and loss of some dreams. I plan to make the beginning of next year a time to heal and then venture out on other dreams. I hope to take better care of myself, read the Bible more, reach outside of my family to help more people, work harder at my writing and educational goals and enjoy next year more than I did this one. I know the economy is bleak and there are many troubles in the world affecting us all. I know many people who are up against heartbreaking curcumstances in their lives. By the grace of God, we can carry on and be victorious in spite of it all. Our circumstances may not improve but our hearts and our faith can!

I wish you all a safe, happy and prosperous New Year! Blessings to you all!

Sunday Sick Day

I don't usually take days off from church but today I was so exhausted, have a sore throat, stuffy nose and headache and in light of all the recent stress, I needed a break.

The two kids who either cause the most trouble (either on the way or at church) stayed home with me and the other one went with Dad who was playing bass guitar in the praise band. He probably enjoyed being the big cheese and riding all alone with Dad in the car anyway. He's also our early bird and I knew he'd never let the others sleep in which meant with him home, I could not sleep in. I don't remember the last day I slept in. It's been months. It was great to do so today!

This morning we had boiled eggs mashed with melted butter, toast and strawberry applesauce just for fun and we watched DVD's of one of my favorite claymation tv shows as a kid, DAVY and GOLIATH. For more info see: http://www.daveyandgoliath.org/

The story lines, though written in the 1950'sand 1960's, teach great little morals that children even from this day and age find relatable. I think I'm going to find some more and buy them for children's church for the times they need a short movie to fill in time after the teaching and activities.

Needless to say, it was nice to have some down time. That is most of it was, since I only had one blow out from one kid this morning and she went to her room three minutes ago for a cool down. Is that banging I hear. No, just knocking. She's drumming on the wall. Oh boy. I'll be right back.

Okay. I'm back.

Tonight, we are suppose to go to visit my friend Lyssie. I will check with her to see if she still wants me there. I think what I have going on is allergy and stress related rather than a cold. It might do me some good to spend time with a friend. But we will have to bring distractions for the kids or Velcro, just kidding. Anyway, Here come the boys from church. I need to go. Have a great Sunday everyone.

Lifelines

My siblings are my lifelines. Whenever life gets crazy, I can count on them to be there for me. Friends come and go, but siblings are forever.

We have not always been close. Life's piles and trials used to allow the miles between us to separate us. (Sorry, too much Dr. Seuss I guess.) Somehow, we survived but there was a feeling of incompleteness.

In these past few years, each has grown a great deal. The brevity of life teaches us the greatness of our need for each other.

Though our perspectives extend from a variety of angles, our hearts are unified. It's not every day that I answer the phone to find the voice of my sisters or brother. But every time I hear their voices, it seems like it was just yesterday that I sat with them and laughed around Mom and Dad's kitchen table. Many things have changed over time but somehow it feels quite the same; the legacy of love and faith is passed down to our children-- just as it was created for us in our youth.

From the viewpoint of someone else, we may have appeared dysfunctional. That didn't dampen our spirits a bit. We came through, not without scars, but with strong bonds that cannot ever be broken.

In our youth, we used to scrap, leaving clumps of flying hair and screaming like a bunch of neighborhood cats. I still hear my mom's voice when I reprimand my own children, "Would you just QUIT YER BICKERING?"

Those were the days when my sister and I squeezed each other by the throat until our faces began to turn blue and Mom stuck her head into the room, "What, for Pete's sake, is going on in here?"

"Nothing, we're just wrestling," was the breathy chorus from the two fighting and the referee.

"For the love of Mike!" She would sigh and leave us back to our battle.

Then there was the time, when we took turns, in my brother's bedroom standing on his back like a cheer leading pyramid in order to see through the hole in the wall into the living room where our parents wrapped our Christmas presents. One of us fell thudding to the floor.

"You okay in there?" Mom's worried voice hollered.

"Ya, uh, I'm lifting weights." My brother gulped and we all "bust a gut" laughing into his mattress.

I had another hobby in those days. I imagined myself a photographer. I made my sisters, Heady included (a neighbor who we considered our extra sister) dress up in crazy outfits and stand in front of trees, flowers and Mill pond so I could have more "photo shoots" under my belt. I took my 120 film camera along with me everywhere I went, shooting scenes of my youngest sister, "Froo", (following in my tomboy footsteps) and working on her bike in the yard. I filmed my other sister, "R". the stand-up comic, making goofy faces and joking poses. One time, she got stuck with her feet behind her head and I shook so hard with laughter I couldn't get the picture.

My photography hobby was soon high jacked by a love of writing, music and art but I kept them in mind as I belted out homemade "opera" from my own music hall on the other side of the bedroom curtain (partly to bug the daylights out of them).

Even now, we still have wild and crazy times. You really can't understand unless you were up in the middle of the night with us this last August building a puppet stage out of our Mom's curtains. R, the sensible one now, came down to use the restroom and said, "Are you guys drunk or something?" We weren't. We were just us.

If you want a picture of what it was like living in our home, just watch or read L. M. Alcott's "Little Women". Then amplify the affect and cross it with the Brady Bunch. That should do it.

Of course, every family has its great moments just as we all have our worst. We've fought over clothes, politics, religion and many other things but it all came out in the wash and now we are stronger and better. To make the package even bigger and wilder, we added brothers and sisters in the mix through marriage. Although they may not be as wacky and wild, they add to the warmth like hot cocoa on a windy Maine Autumn evening.

I'm thankful for the birth family I have. I couldn't run Leaders in Learning or my daily life without them. Whatever family memories you may have. Don't focus on the negative.

Life is short. Forget the differences. Relish the love.

Confessions of a Post-It Note Geek

Yes, folks, you read it here. I'm a Post-It Note Freak. In fact, I'm lost without them. I've got them stuck on the computer screen, the fridge, my choir practice books, the front door and who knows where else.

No, they aren't a new invention but they are a lifesaver. They save me from missing appointments, forgetting to pick up the most important ingredient in a recipe and a million other potentially embarrassing moments.

It occurred to me today that both blogging and short stories are kind of like Post-It Notes. They need just enough information to inform but not enough to overload or cause boredom.

I wonder what other household items will teach me a lesson today?

Dad

Dads

We don't know why we need them when we need them--- but we do. We don't think twice, expect them to always be there, but they are not infinite. Time has a cruel way of sneaking up on us.

My dad is a special man. He doesn't deserve to have Parkinson's disease but who does?
He came from humble beginnings but is royalty to me. As he lays in a nursing home surrounded by my mom, my youngest, sister, Ru, and my big brother, Ray, Jr., the hospice staff waits giving comfort measures only. May his heart be comforted by how loved and cherished he is to all who know him.

I only hope that his pain does not last long and that he may be where he has always wanted to be and will finally feel the acceptance and approval he has longed for all his life.

When he walks those streets of gold, there will be no pain, no walker or wheelchair, no tremor nor spilled coffee, no shuffle. He will run and skip and laugh and be filled with a joy he never knew. I can imagine him trading in that cordovan sweater for a spotless white robe as radiant as sunshine for the light of God will shine on him. There will be no more night for him. No more sundowning. No more tears or confusion or dementia. He will be visiting with the saints and dancing with the saints and singing his heart out. I wonder if he will be entertaining the little ones there? Maybe preaching a truth to them?

I have a book about Heaven that I am going to read. I want to know what my dad will be doing up there while he looks down at us after he goes. I shall miss him so when he leaves us, but I know that he will be in a much better place.